i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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