It was confusing and full of hummus
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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