is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
