then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
