hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
