So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yo dont text me then not text me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
