Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
