he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
