I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
