no one should ever give us hovercrafts
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
