I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
