um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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