i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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