I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
