some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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