Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
