you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
