i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
