Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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