You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
