You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
