C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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