Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
