i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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