I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
