We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
