I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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