I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
