he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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