You're so nebulous sometimes
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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