did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
