im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
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