There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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