I puked a lego.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
