the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
