she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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