you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
