I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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