I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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