My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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