Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
