I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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