the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
