if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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