bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
