So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
