I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
