Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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