I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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