do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
