Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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