so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize